Friday, December 19, 2008

In the News...Baked Goods and Dinosaur Eggs.

Today I had an idea that I might post a roundup of my favorite news stories from this past week. It's been a slow cycle due to the low profile appointments Obama has been making recently. Sure, we've had the shoe-hurler to entertain us, but other than that things have been relatively quiet. I actually had two things in mind that I wanted to follow up on. Unfortunately I completely forgot one of them. The other has to do with a clamp-down on PA nail salons that have been fronting for a slavery ring. Reportedly these shops have been masking a trade of Vietnamesee women, who are lured to America with the promise of marriage and citizenship. I'm sure this practice is more common than we'd like to admit.

Just this morning I heard about recent scientific findings that seem to suggest that male dinosaurs of some species were the primary caregivers to their offspring. Archaeologists have been puzzled for years about clutches of eggs that appeared too numerous to have been carried by the animals whose skeletons were found nearby. Apparently they've followed up with research into creatures that aren't extinct, and discovered similarities in the behaviors of emus and ostriches. These abhorrent birds also tend to place child-rearing burdens on the fathers. So now the oviraptor (which was thought to prey on eggs) seems misnamed. When its remains were first discovered on top of a nest of eggs, it was thought to have been engaging in infanticide. To the contrary, it was just providing daycare.

While we're on the topic of parenting, I feel compelled to mention a controversy that a friend alerted me to the other day. In Eastern PA (Lehigh County), a couple is complaining that a local grocery store (ShopRite) refused to decorate their child's birthday cake. No, they weren't asking for boob icing, or anything of the sort, but rather for the kid's name to be simply spelled out on its surface. In our society, it is commonly expected that businesses will cater to the desires of customers. There are even adages that suggest the infallibility of clients. Why would any self-respecting business refuse a potential sale, especially one concerning such an ordinary request? Why take away something that might mean a lot to a little boy?

Well, the mother and father of three-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell seem to be asking themselves the same questions. In fact, the scandalized Dad himself summarized his feelings succinctly by stating, "Other kids get their cake. I get a hard time. It’s not fair to my children." And perhaps Heath Campbell has a point. Little Adolf, along with his sisters JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell , certainly deserve the benefit of a normal and wholesome lifestyle, punctuated by small pleasures like balloons and personalized baked goods. On the other hand, maybe Heath should have ceded the naming rights to someone with a clue... or maybe he should have simply sterilized himself before the controversy of offspring developed.


I could spend a lot of time writing about the mindset of the county I grew up in. Unfortunately the behavior of the Campbell elders isn't nearly as aberrant as it ought to be. Somehow they came to the conclusion that their pathetic lives (and the nation as a whole) would be improved if they just invested themselves in the pride of race. Still the level of self-delusion is astonishing to behold. Despite the presence of multiple swastikas throughout his home, Heath Campbell complains, "“[People] need to take their heads out of the cloud they’ve been in and start focusing on the future and not on the past." Fortunately for him (and his progeny), Walmart came to the rescue and decorated the baked good to his specifications. God Bless Sam Walton!

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4 Comments:

Blogger rainywalker said...

A business has the right to serve you or to not serve you. Business is business. Sam Walton learned something early, sell cheap make billions. I don't fault him for that. Now Wall Street is another story.

5:16 PM  
Blogger Merge Divide said...

Right... I agree. Still we all have the right to excoriate said business for making the decisions that it makes. I don't fault Walton for making lots of money, or for selling cheap... there are plenty of more nuanced and substantial reasons to have disdain for Walmart.

11:17 AM  
Blogger Brad said...

Thanks Dave.

12:17 AM  
Blogger Merge Divide said...

Absolutely. Thanks for the tip.

3:53 AM  

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