Random Acts of Intentional Violence.

Last Friday night I finished reading the book I was currently working my way through, and I thought I'd go out for a drink and relax a bit. I couldn't identify any friends to meet me at my favorite nightspot, and so I was hoping that the bar would not be jam-packed with tourists and suburbanites. There was an outside chance that I would be able to find a seat, since it was before 10:30PM. I parked in my usual spot and walked up the sidewalk to the front entrance. I could see through the front window that it wasn't too crowded. I was heartened to find an empty stool near the corner of the bar, with no one on either side. I settled in, received the usual sterling service that befits a regular, and sipped my cocktail in peace. It felt good to be out in a quiet and clean place with breathing space.

Fortunately I had remembered to bring my camera with me, and I decided to try to capture a bit of the magic of the night. At this point in the night the bar was so empty that I had a chance to talk to some of the staff as I worked. This particular pub has plenty of visual stimuli and a multitude of varied and interesting light sources. I enjoyed working in that atmosphere, and quickly lost myself in phenomena that most observers would find mundane. I really can't sufficiently praise the Canon G9. It has enough in-camera features to provide hours of diversion. I was able to accumulate a number of compelling, show-worthy images in the short time I sat at the bar. Later a friend came in and I chatted superficially with him about mild topics.

I had no intention of making it a long or costly night out. I felt quite satisfied as I donned my jacket and left for the drive home. It had been time well spent, and I congratulated myself for my moderation. As I approached my car, I realized almost immediately that something was wrong. My driver's side mirror was hanging by its internal electrical wires from its mounting. The faceplate was shattered in many pieces. It struck me initially that this was incredibly inconvenient, as I had to get home in the dark without its aid. I quickly discerned that the mirror on the passenger side was also destroyed. Over the past year I had parked in this little convenience store lot almost every time I visited the bar. The store was closed and I figured it was fair game. I've never had even the slightest problem with this practice.

It began to sink in that someone had come by and done this deliberately. This was no accident- it was quite clear because both sides were smashed. I wondered who might have done such a thing. There was another car next to mine that had not been vandalized... but it hadn't been there when I arrived. Apparently some ne'er-do-well figured that my little banged-up foreign vehicle was an appropriate target. He (or they) decided that they would add a particularly damaging exclamation point to my evening. Why did they do it? Perhaps they were kids, amped up and showing off to each other. Maybe they were inordinately drunk and carousing. Going wildin' on a weekend night is a long-honored tradition among adolescents. I'm sure they gave the whole affair little thought. I was simply left to deal with the consequences.

I suppose this kind of thing happens week in, week out, across the nation. People seem to invest so little energy into thinking about what their actions cost others. This is an anonymous protest against an unknown individual. I certainly didn't feel that I knew the perpetrator. I don't believe that it was anything personal. Anyone could become the recipient of such malice on any given night. This is the nature of random violence. You could go weeks, months, or years without anything like this ever happening to you. Or it could happen on subsequent days. But it makes me question our society. Do we teach its members to have this little respect for their fellows? Is there something in our culture that reinforces such behavior? Is it a natural consequence of our difficult and chaotic times? How much worse can it get? I slept fitfully and woke up sore.

Another New Camera.

Last weekend was especially entertaining for me. The work at the galleries at Unblurred was generally competent and interesting. There were a lot of people out having fun. Saturday's show at La Vie was a predictable success, and featured its routinely stimulating mix of people enjoying the occasion. I also got a hold of the new CD by my favorite band- Slim Cessna's Auto Club. After the first couple of listens, it has proven its worth and earned the right to sit alongside the previous masterpieces of the band. Even Baby E. seemed to get a kick out of it. I got a package of extracurricular work completed early, and thus was free to enjoy the delights of spare time. To cap it off, the Flyers beat the Penguins. Although I shouldn't care at all, it makes going back to the workplace easier for me when that happens.

But the best thing that happened goes deeper than all of the rest. To understand why it so meaningful, an explanation of my recent experiences is necessary. For the last ten (or so) months, I have felt incredibly dissatisfied with my photographic output. Fortunately I have been able to concentrate on other outlets, because at some inarticulable level I need to be happy about my artistic processes in order to be satisfied with life. I've also built a certain set of expectations among local galleries about having quality work to show. I do have an extensive backlog of stuff that I feel is worthy of exhibition, and I could have continued my creative drought while still mounting some decent shows. I had a few productive years in a row, and there's a lot that will be 'new' to people who have followed my progression.

The reasons for my dissatisfaction are numerous, but the most obvious problem is that I haven't been shooting much over the past year. Primarily this is the result of having purchased a new camera. In the beginning of last summer, I went to Ritz and picked up a Canon Rebel XTi DSLR. By the time I got out of the store I had spent something like $1800 for the package. I did so impulsively because i had been agonizing over the direction I should take. I hang out with several folks who are obsessed with the technical aspects of photography. Time and time again, I was told that I need to upgrade. I had presumably exhausted the capabilities of my Canon G6. Now it was time to "get serious". So against my reservations, I finally took the plunge. Now I had a small backpack full of gear, waiting to be used.

Unfortunately the size of this camera and its accessories ended up inhibiting my production. If I wanted to shoot something, I had to plan ahead. The equipment was way too expensive to simply leave in my car all of the time. So if I decided I might find something worthwhile, I would have to hump that damn backpack around. Then when I spotted a likely target- I had to pause, take the bag from my back, unzip it, put on the appropriate lens, and then get into a solid shooting position. By the time I was ready, all of the spontaneity and intuitive aspects of the situation had dissipated. The pictures mostly came out looking uninspired and overly conventional. I was almost entirely confined to 'documentation', and even then my subject had to be pretty inert. It removed most of the joy from the activity.

For months I've been considering grabbing a point-and-shoot that I can stick in my pocket and carry around with me conveniently. After my son was born, my Dad came to visit and brought his new G9 with him. I tested it out briefly, and liked it a lot. I resolved quickly to continue my loyalty to the Canon G-series (my first and second cameras were the G5 and the G6). I put off its purchase for weeks, until my G6 gave up the ghost permanently. Then there was no reason to hesitate. I'm incredibly happy I took the plunge. The first two days I used it, I took hundreds of photos. I feel that I got more show-worthy images over this past weekend than in the previous year. When something intrigued me, I simply grabbed the G9 and went to work. And once it was out, I began to play with its features (many of which are absent in the XTi). There's a certain high that comes with feeling good about making art. I had come to expect it fairly regularly. After a long absence, it's now back.