A Gathering of the Faithful.

After rereading yesterday's post, it occurred to me to explain how I ended up at a Bigfoot Convention in the first place. I would guess that a majority of people would never consider spending a Saturday afternoon engaging such an event. But I've always been intrigued by strange sociological niches, and I also have a healthy regard for the necessity of mystery in life. Going out to Jeannette, PA to observe a bunch of folks discussing the phenomena of Sasquatch seemed to appeal to both of these interests. I had no idea what to expect. What type of human being would consider devoting a significant amount of time to studying the supposed existence of this legendary creature? In the face of modern science, what would inspire hope that this thing truly exists?

It was surprisingly easy to round up a few companions to join me for this day-trip out of the city. It didn't require advanced forms of persuasion. There is something about Bigfoot that resonates with the inner child, and god knows I have a lot of friends that harbor deep reserves of youthful spirit and imagination. In an era when skepticism about everything rules the day, it's comforting to believe in the unknown. It's actually a guilty little secret among the masses- individuals hide their faith in UFO's, secret societies, ghosts, and honest politicians all the time. The modern urban sophisticate is apt to bury these affinities deep within him/herself, and you'd likely be shocked to discover what lurks in the hearts of those you are close to.

So I drove out to Pitzer's, the bar that hosts this annual meeting on behalf of the Pennsylvania Bigfoot Society. I was immediately struck by the homogeneity of the attendees. They were almost exclusively rural white folk- the kind that you'd be likely to find at a NASCAR or Toby Keith concert. There was lots of beer and unhealthy foods available for purchase at an affordable price. There were booths selling T-shirts, bumper stickers and pins. And there was a cavalcade of self-appointed experts on all types of supernatural topics. You could tell who the major players in this little world were almost immediately. They were the ones hawking their books and signing autographs. Where there is money to be made, there is someone willing to receive it.

Actually, the multi-varied nature of subjects represented by these peripheral academics took me a bit off-guard. As one speaker after another got up to make presentations, I learned that multi-dimensionality is a valued unifying theory within this circle. Apparently knowing something can pop in and out of our sensory experience proves the existence of all manner of odd and elusive monsters. It was suggested that Bigfoot may actually be a specter or alien life-form. That goes a long way in explaining why scientifically verifiable remains have never been found. On one hand, I had to admire the mental dexterity that allows someone to form such a conclusion. But alternatively, I also felt that this was a bit of a cop-out.

I guess that there isn't enough national Bigfoot trade to support specialists. Financial difficulties require diversification. So some of the same researchers that pen tomes about our beloved Yeti also collect tales of real-life hauntings and extraterrestrial conspiracies. To be sure it makes for some lively cross-disciplinary interactions. It also serves to tamp down the wacky adherents of more idiosyncratic explanations. One farmer posited that the Bigfoot was the result of the post-Civil War need for cheap agricultural labor. His hypothesis involved a rather unenlightened theory of cross-breeding. Another was hell-bent on proclaiming that Bigfoot variations are the results of nuclear wastes stored in local mines. I guess we can assume that every movement contains its orthodoxies.

Bigfoot Found in Southern Freezer!

Y'know, I think it might be worthwhile to take a few minutes and clear up a matter of increasing confusion. Many people who know me appear to be under a mistaken impression, and in the interest of frank exposition, I feel I should set them straight. Just because I attended a Bigfoot Convention a few years back does not mean I am a true believer. It doesn't even mean that I am convinced of the possibility that this large hairy humanoid creature exists. Furthermore, when I wear my t-shirt advertising the PA Bigfoot Society, I'm not trying to reinforce any particular position. This animal may or may not be stalking our backwoods. I've never seen one myself, so it would be disingenuous for me to attempt to claim any authority on the matter.

I guess wearing the shirt has contributed to the perception that I am some kind of fanatic on the topic. Perhaps I resemble a number of distinguished cryptozoologists. But the truth is that I have no more affinity for Bigfoot than I do for Chupacabra, the Jersey Devil, or the Loch Ness Monster. I love the possibility of them equally. Yet I've been singled out by a number of my friends. I have received a plethora of e-mail messages linking to the latest news regarding a correctional officer and a cop who claim to have discovered the corpse of a Bigfoot. Rick Dyer and Matthew Whitton reportedly stumbled on their find while on a hunting trip in Georgia some time ago. They tried to garner press attention immediately after, but were unsuccessful.

Now Whitton and Dyer have hooked up with Tom Biscardi and Searching for Bigfoot. Biscardi is a former Las Vegas promoter who has appeared as an "expert" with George Noory on Coast to Coast. He knows his audience and he's rolled out such finds before, only to later admit that he had been scammed. Still he plunges on, organizing expeditions to trap and capture a live Bigfoot in Northern California. He's been doing this since 1971, inspired by a 1967 viewing of the infamous Roger Patterson footage on the Johnny Carson show. Regardless of how much skepticism he inspires, his attitude seems irrepressible. I found the following Biscardi quote on his web page:

"There are two types of people, one finds a way,... one finds an excuse. I am the type of person who goes over, under, and around or through any obstacle that stands in my way!!! I can.. I will... I am going to!!! When the going gets tough, the tough get going! Every day and every way by the grace of God I am getting better and better!! I feel happy... I feel healthy... I feel terrific! After all, the mark of a person is not how far he runs from his problems, but how well he meets, faces and deals with those problems. That is truly the mark of a real human being. I can... I will... and I am going to succeed today!!!"

In the face of such enthusiasm, can we really afford to doubt such a man? After all, he has at least 5 confirmed sightings of Bigfoot to his credit. And he seems to be taking Whitton and Dyer pretty seriously. We can only imagine what his thoughts were when the erstwhile adventurers opened their outdoor freezer to expose the hulking carcass of a (decapitated?) 7 foot, 7 inch monster. Maybe he felt that his forbearance in the face of mockery and derision had finally paid off. Or perhaps columns of figures representing potential profits from the find ran through his head. Either way Biscardi and company promise that they will be presenting the results of DNA analysis soon. They've got several Russian scientists working on the case as I write. Long live the legend!