Summer Solstice.

Summer "doldrums". The word itself specifically refers to near-equatorial waters, which are characterized by calms and light winds. Those are conditions much envied during the long, dark Northern winters. But somehow after days of lassitude, a strange lethargic boredom sets in. One of the things I've been doing too much of is sleeping. I even slumbered right through the the time I needed to get up and drive to my drawing session. This was especially depressing since I've been looking forward to it for a few days. With travel plans still in an incomplete stage of planning, there is not anything specific to anticipate. I've gorged myself on leisure, and I'm feeling quite unproductive.

But I've learned that this is a natural progression for me during my summer break. Around the time of the third week, I've sunk into a trough of mundanity and dissolution. That's why last year I scheduled beach trips for June. I skipped right past this phase a year ago. Now I'm forced to confront my relative inactivity head-on. The irony is that I have some major changes coming in my life during the next year. This might be the last time for awhile that I have the luxury to slip into nothingness. One would think that the fact would make me appreciate this state- but that's not the way the human heart works. We so often take for granted our blessings in life.

Today is the summer solstice. If nothing else, this day has the power to put my mindset into perspective. Astrologically speaking, it means that this is the point whereby the northern axis of the Earth tilts closest to the sun. Today we get the most sunlight of any part of the year. The sun appears directly over the Tropic of Cancer. The Catholic Church has chosen this time of year (June 23, 24) as the Feast of St. John the Baptist. This is an unusual observance for a Saint, since it marks John's birth, rather than his death (which is typical). In Ireland St. John'e Eve (the 23rd) is celebrated by the lighting of bonfires. The tradition finds its roots in ceremonies marking the worship of the Celtic Goddess Aine. Spain has also adopted the building of fires, but adds a dangerous spin- people actually jump over the raging fires to prove their courage and cleanse themselves of sin.

This time of year is also sacred among practitioners of Voodoo. St. John's Eve was commemorated with special rituals in that enigmatic religion. In truth, Midsummer's Eve festivals go back far into recorded history. June 24th was celebrated in ancient times as the summer solstice, and it wasn't until the times of Pope Gregory XIII that the longest day of the year fell on June 21st. Back in the pagan days, people believed that midsummer plants had special healing powers, and so they were picked on Midsummer's Eve. The superstitious also watched for meetings of witches and other "evil spirits". Wiccans celebrated June 24th (or therabouts) as Litha. After Midsummer, the sun would turn its back on the people and head progressively southwards, and so folks felt a need to find some way of protecting themselves.

Perhaps it is only natural for me to experience a certain restlessness at this time of the year.

The Folly of Civilization.

My first week of summer break is almost completed. I had forgotten how easy it is to fall into complete dissolution. I was able to get a few chores accomplished, but by and large I have been way too self-indulgent. It's not that I'm going out every night, but rather that the things I am doing at home are mostly serving no evident purpose. As I approach the reprieve from work, I always have in mind all the great things I will be able to accomplish with free time. I intend to get art projects done and do some traveling. However this year is different in that I didn't identify anywhere specific that I wanted to visit. By this time I usually have done some research into potential destinations, but I was too involved with other things to do that this past spring. So I have nothing to aim for.

A lot of my time has been wasted in front of the computer. I've wasted hours surfing the net. But the most useless activity I've been occupying myself with has been playing a computer game called Civilization 3. If you're not familiar with it- it's a turn-based strategy game in which you are tasked with building a society from virtually nothing. You select a civilization from the past or present (Rome, Greece, Iroquois, Russia, the United States, etc) and you compete with others to eventually attain dominance of a fictional world-map. Your opponents are controlled by the artificial intelligence of the computer. They are after the same thing you are, so you have to outwit them to meet your objective. Once one civilization conquers the world, achieves diplomatic hegemony, occupies a certain proportion of the map, or launches a spaceship in search of new horizons... then the game is over. It takes hours and hours to win, and there are six skill levels (only half of which I have ever been able to beat).

This is not a first-person shoot-em-up like Grand Theft Auto or the myriads of other hyper-violent games available to numb your mind. In Civilzation 3, there are so many components to the challenge that playing it can be mentally exhausting. There is no "right" strategy- it all depends on the location from which you start and the resources available. With as many variables that are introduced, the game is never the same twice. The trick is in finding some kind of balance that allows you to stay one step ahead of everyone else. You decide whether to focus on hoarding wealth, direct resources toward scientific and technological advancements, build a military, concentrate on trade, or just make sure all your people are happy. To succeed, you have to so a bit of everything.

Civ 3 really is the mother af all strategy games. It does require complex analytical skills. If you have any understanding of logarithms, then you automatically have an advantage over an ordinary player. Yet one single game requires such an investment of time, that it's important to know when to cut your losses. You can easily spend a couple of hours setting up the basics of your civilization, only to find out that you have no hope of winning. Believe me- it is spirit-crushing when you realize, after several hours, that it was all in vain. In simple terms of scale and scope, it has the potential of being more frustrating than chess.

Even when I win, victory feels a bit hollow. I get so immersed in the experience that I fool myself into believing that I have actually accomplished something. I have built a complex and efficient model that has stood up to a series of grueling tests. Yet I can't see any clear connection between the skills it takes to master Civilization 3 and the requirements for success in real life. Perhaps I am making intellectual strides that I am not aware of. Maybe I am becoming an adept at resource management. But most likely, all I've managed to do is to turn myself into a big, fat NERD.